Why let things effect you negatively, simply because they make you uncomfortable? Why let the antagonistically cynical tones people use in their sentence structure unnerve you? Defending against and dismissing obvious subliminal attacks toward your mind is a difficult skill to master.

Been up in new hampshire and vermont for about 2 weeks or something like that. It’s rpetty nice up here. Getting to know a group called the Free Staters, in Keene, New hampshire, and I gotta tell you, i love what i see. They have this protest rally going on here, where every day at 4:20pm people meet in the center of town on the commons and smoke out, and This genius of a man, Rich Paul, talks on his bull horn about the war on drugs and how it is harming decent american citizens, among other things. Really impressive. I humbly sat in sheer glory amonst this town that is not giving up so very easily. I will miss this town. Viva la Revolution!

Be heading back down to Kentucky to be around some old friends. Who knows, i might even get an apartment there for a little while, i need a break from travel. I believe its time to get some secruity in my life.

Mark.

To love is not an easy thing to fully throw yourself into. Because to love another you must first acknowledge the exsistance of that beating breathing living heart inside your own chest. Because to love you must be able to look at another and say “i don’t care if you disagree with me on this subject, we both have our seperate opinions because we are not in fact one person, we are two making it work.” You must be able to ground while the other flies if that is the case. You must be able to fly while the other grounds if that is also the case. You must be able to set free and captivate at the same time. You must be able to completely abandom yourself into anothers arms. You must be able to recognize that smell as soon as it walks into a room. To feel those eyes on you even though your back is turned. Are you willing?

to love…

Because Love can’t look you in the eyes when the eyes are shut.

Because Love can’t talk to you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear all night long if the mouth is closed tight.

Because Love can’t laugh with you if it cant laugh at itself.

Because Love cant admire you from a distance if it never lets you wander more than an arms length away.

Because Love isnt Love if it hasnt Loved itself.

Because Love IS love. And Love IS hate. But love knows when it needs to tell a difference between the two.

Finding love is a lot like finding a $10 on the ground after not eating for the past 2 days.

Take a look at this life and what you have made of it. Take a look in the garbage can and see what food is in it. Why not? Is it dirty? Unnacceptable? Humiliating? Who says? There is treasure for you, waiting long hoping to be found by you around every corner in every bin in every purse…. oh wait is that still illegal? Take a walk, Take a risk. Take some time to see what you’ve missed. Cause if you dont do it and make an example of yourself, how are people going to be able to follow in your footsteps? Who is going to take that first shakey humiliating breath of fresh air and do what they want for a change instead of what they always knew they should so that another may learn from their portrayal of “human exsitance” these days…. not you. I see.

Take a break for a change, drink a 40 with some kids you just met, spin a sidewalk slam with that dirty street band with the washboard, climb to the top of that water tower and see who can flick their cigarette the farthest. climb into different elevators and choose random floors and see if your friends chose the same floor you did… and every time you choose the same floor? take a shot! why the hell not? Drop some beans and roll on the beach and get tackled by some random navy guy into the surf, then laugh at yourself for the next 15 mins. Talk to your dog, or rat, or cat, or snake, or penguin, or goddamned parrot if you must. TRY SOMETHING FUCKING NEW FOR A CHANGE AY?

How about you just open your eyes…. could you do that for me? appreciate who you are, who you were, who you have become, and who you will be. Look at your friends and do the same for them. Love them, and hate them all at once. “let your light shine brother!” and all that bullshit.

How about, just be?

……

How about closing out my web page and thinking of your own ideas? How about turning off the TV and watching the clouds go by instead? Cause there are no individual clouds? Just a solid mass of gray? Understandable…. go turn your TV back on then. And re-open my web page. Mark it.

Doc Brown and his Delorian.

Wow, where to begin? So much has happened since I last wrote. It’s now mid April, although I know not the exact date or day or time, for I haven’t cared much about that useless crap lately. The only times it really does me good to know the date is so I can know if my nice foodstamps have re-upped yet (Thanks Obama.) Anyhow, I do have a puppy now, Vadimas, and he is about 2 1/2 months old at this point. Getting huge! and so fucking smart too. He knows how to sit and lay down and go to bed and shake hands and what not already, but he has such a stubborn attitude when it comes to doing things he doesn’t want to (but hey I can’t blame him, I am the same way). Then again he is only 2 months old, so he is still learning and developing, so I won’t hold it against him =). He is a sweetheart though, and I love him like a son.

Me and Joshua split ways one morning by hitch hiking opposite directions. We had just had enough of each others company for the time being and both of us were at our limits. So he went North through the Georgia mountains, and I cut across to Asheville. The trip out of Key west up into Georgia was pretty uneventful as far as I can remember. Just a lot of puppy training and walking if my memory serves me right. Anyhow, Asheville proved to be pretty exciting. I walked into Pritchard park and hadnt even had time to set down my pack and take a seat, before some kids walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to go to the woods with them. Haha, I readily agreed and off we went, to the Pisgah National Forest. We weather it out there for about a week, building yerts and fire pits and digging our shitter. Our shelters kept us dry during a thunderstorm and warm and dry in a snow storm, YEAH HIPPY POWER. We did good. Then we went to asheville for a a few days, got stuck, and eventually after a drunken mess and lots of new friends, including some of my old friends from Key West, and Vadimas brother DICE and sister GORDO, we all piled into a big van and a car and made it back out to the forest. At this point we had about 20-30 people out there. Fire spinning, drinking, smoking, swimming, and camp fire cooking, and of course a lot of music playing. It was a blast.

After that episode, I started traveling with Ricky, Nikki, Garrett and Patrizio and Ricco tagged along to Greensboro as well. I pretty much told Patrizio to kick rocks in Greensboro…. lol drunkenly telling him “Look! there’s the train tracks! The high way is back there! choose one and go!” It was pretty ridiculous. He was looking for a relationship from me and what not and I just am not looking for that right now, to put it bluntly. Well, after being righteously wasted in Greensboro for 3 days and seeing a show, Rick, nik, and garrett and I traveled north to Charleston, VA where we stayed at Rick’s parents house for a few days. Then me and Garrett hitched out of there with our two little puppies in tow, and made it to Virginia Beach that night. Spent the weekend there, rolling on the beach and find smooth stones and then WOW! smoother stones! and pointing out Doc Brown and his Delorian and Skiddiepoofcha in the stars….. playing in the sand and passing out in alleyways unexpectedly. We left for Delaware Sunday morning. We made it by the skin of our teeth across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel thingy and into Seaford, DE. Now we are just chilling at his sisters place.

There. Now you’re all caught up on my weird ass life.

I’ve learned so much too. The friends I have been surrounding myself with as of late, have really helped me to keep a positive mindstate. And I havent even felt my anger rise since I have been traveling solo. Well, not solo really, but since I left Joshua. Not that we got angry a lot, its just how the cookie crumbles. I miss Joshua terribly all the time, he is still my best friend in the world and I would give my right arm, left arm, and both legs for that man to be happy. But Im sure he’s doing a good job of it on his own ; ).

I love to look back on myself as a young child and see the yearly progress I made in my spirituality, morals, and general mindset. It astounds and amazes me to realize how much of a stronger person I have become than I ever thought I would be. When I was 13, I never would have imagined that this would be the lifestyle I would choose to lead. Carefree and wreckless, with no specific goals other than travel and raiseing my dog right. And it brings me down to hear people say “oh, the world ahs gone to shit.” or “there’s just no good people left anymore”…. cause I have living proof of so many kind souls. People that will pick you up on the side of the road, say “Well, I was going home in the opposite direction, but Hell, I’ll drive ya to your destination.” Even when its 60 miles out of their way and another 70 miles to get back to where they should be. Fuck, some of my best friends i grew up with wouldnt be that willing to help me out like that. I’ve had people that would give me the shirt off their back or the shoes off their feet if I needed them. And then they would thank ME for the pleasure of being able to help out another human being. And you say chivalry is dead. I love being able to meet a random stranger, look into their eyes, and know that they really enjoy my company.  There is just so much to see and experience in this magical world. How could you possibly let it pass you by?

On that note, till next time folks. ..

Oh and, Doc brown.

I was born a rambling man

This world is truly limitless for the creative and free-spirited. For those who are willing to step outside of their daily routine and comfort zone, and move on. Those who can see past their daily job and cozy apartment. Willing to throw away all you own at the toss of a hat, and move somewhere else, to prove to yourself, that nothing in this material world owns your soul. Could you do it? You may be forced to at some point…. will you be ready?

The world my master, and I her student. Ever since I have forsaken all my material possessions that I thought I neeeeeded so badly, I have learned so much about myself and the world and the spiritual world and much much more. Sometimes you don’t realize how much certain things hold you back, until they are gone. Even relationships can hold you back, without you noticing. I had a good relationship before I left last summer…… And I felt like I had to leave behind everything I felt attached to. To cut all my chains, even if those chains are the softest, sweetest, most loving chains in all of existence, full of wonderful treasures and love,Q. I had to make it so there was nothing left for me, but knowledge I sought to learn. And I did. Broke many hearts in the process, lost friends (best friends, Sammy my favorite Jew). I left behind a lot. It was something I knew I had to do in order to move towards my true being of enlightenment. I didn’t seek to completely cast aside these wonderful things I had built my life around, I just needed to set forth without any attachments, a totally free spirit, an empty vessel, so that I could truly learn and fill up with my destiny. I hoped that my friends would understand this about me, but in some cases, it only made them bitter towards me. It just shows who really wants to be your friend and who is only your friend if it benefits them. That is the price I have to pay for my own life understanding and wisdom. I don’t regret anything I’ve done. I’ve learned so much from my actions. Moved forward so quickly and completely in my spiritual knowledge and wisdom of the universe.

I learn all I can from everyone I meet. Everyone has a different connection with their God. So everyone can teach another being a point worth remembering. Keep your eyes, ears, and mind open. If you close them just once, you may miss the most vital piece of prophecy to your being.

It is easy to see anothers soul.
Yet it is near impossible to grok it.

To walk in the light at night is not such a difficult mission to achieve. Perceive the good and receive as you should, and a bright light your mind can conceive. Hear the gentle song from the throng always with you. Near they stay, though closer when you pray, for they long to share their song with you.

Cleanse the ignorance from your mind and you shall be a righteous being.
If a man asks of you a question, answer it completely with the best of your knowledge. Unless you know of him to be deceitful or untrustworthy, satisfy his need for your knowledge.

The world is the playground of the souls. A tool to learn the knowledge of the gods. Some misuse it and only harm their very essence. The more careful of the lot have learned the way of advancement. Knowledge as rungs on a ladder… You make your choice to climb up, climb down, or simply fall off.

Some day all stars will die. Yet they all shine without dread.

A Disconcerting Buzz

Still in Key West. I am waiting on some important identification papers in order to receive my food benefits. It’s making me anxious because it has not arrived yet, and has been nearly a week. If these papers get lost in the mail, it would have a devestating and anxiety filled outcome for me. Plus if I dont have identification to show to the Federal people by January 31st, then my benefits application will be dropped. So much hassle. But I am doing my best. Is it not understandable why this situation might be delivering a large package of stress to the doorstep of my cerebrum?

Key west has some interesting characters. Me and Joshua have been having pretty good luck in defeating our mediocre obstacles and meeting new friends, while keeping cash in our pockets. I am improving greatly my harmonica skills, and have discovered the great relaxation tool it is turning out to be. I find myself almost unable, nonetheless un-wanting, to stop the calm state of mind that comes over me as I blow bits of my heart and soul into my harp.

Trying to just get all of our duties done, so that we can begin “island hopping” and traveling about once more.

Walking down these streets, or rather one particular street (Duval Street), you can’t help but look around and feel as thought you have stumbled directly into the filming of a new zombie film. Everyone walking around with the same expressions on their face, mindlessly enjoying themselves and the reflections of their fancy suits and trim figures in the expensive shop windows.

Looking bland, with their heads more so than not pointing at the ground. A slight disturbance is resounding on the air waves and everyone has a lingering buzz of discomfort at the back of their mind, though they know not why, or how long it has been there. What shall we call this disturbance, this buzz, this menace….. I have not the time for puzzles right now, nor do I care to dwell on the subject of a zombie society any longer. So goodbye for now, love to all.

As the Hourglass turns

Oh how the tables do turn on a soul faster than the bite of a snapping turtle. One day everything is going absolutely splendid, and the next you’re wallowing in a pit of doom and gloom. Could it be this is simply the Gemini in me that is to blame? No, No, I don’t feel the desire to project my problems onto the backs of the stars. Everyone is in complete control of their own turn tables and hour glass. So the question is, when the sand is nearly depleted in yours, are going to turn it over and let the process begin again? Or will you let the last grain tumble through the abyss and watch as it settles into the all quiet, all still pile of similar appearing nugglets below it? Or, will you just keep adding more sand into the top and draining the sand from bottom? Or even better, instead of flipping your glass back over, you could take the sand from the bottom as it falls and slowly shove it back into the top segment; giving each individual grain its own loving touch of your soft warm fingers, so full of life, as you do so…. Where am I going with this you might be asking yourself; that’s an excellent question. And frankly I am not altogether sure of the proper answer to it.  Even more confusing, is that there most likely is not one answer to that question.  Ah, well. Life sure does know how to slap you in the face. Right when you think you have everything under control too, in the worst way. When the rug gets pulled out from under me, will I collapse on the floor in a jumbled heap, or will I remain on my toes; as the dishes on the table do when the table cloth is jerked out by an experienced waiter… Well I guess its time to find out. So far, I’m wavering, but I believe I’m on the verge of catching my footing.

I need to stop drinking for a while. Or at the very least, stop getting completely belligerently trashed when I do.

I also need to smoke some herb to calm my jittery godforsaken nerves down. How can one relax, when everyone surrounding them is on edge?

2000 and ten

well, we made it to the Florida keys pretty easily. me and joshua traveled by ourselves again, leaving josh in sarasota, but we found him again down here too. Im on key west at the moment. what a crazy ass place. no really. fucking psychotic.

i got fed drinks by a bunch of trannys last night cause i told them their outfits were cute and started crying to them about how i lost my boyfriend, haha. crazy things. mallory square is pretty cool, with sexy fire dancers and hilarious magic leprechons from edinburgh.

other than that, i’ve learned that i probably should lay off the vodka for a bit. its starting to turn me into a raging bitch and i dont understand in the least bit why… okay, that possibly could be an exaggeration. But I never used to loose control like this. It must be sign. If i keep up this pace, I’m bound to lose something real important to my heart. Let’s not even glance down that pathway, deal?

Well and then i sat down at a shitty computer and wrote a blog  in the drop in center, the end.

An excessive amount of Yerba Mate is not a bad thing

Well, after a bit of trouble, we made it up to Asheville and back down through Georgia once more, and after a few delightful pitstops and new found friends, we found ourselves hitching back through Florida again. And fucking A what a hellish mess it was. Floridians don’t seem to enjoy picking up strangers rolling 3 deep, two of which are male, in their brand new minivans… and i just cant seem to place my finger on the reason why. We’re nice enough aren’t we? Well okay, ill admit we look a bit scarier than we are when seen sitting on the side of highway from a speeding car window. But it sure is a frustrating thing to sit and wait 6 hours for a ride in every town we got dropped off in. But when we used the 301, it wasnt illegal to walk down that quaint highway, so we walked a good bit more miles than we had been walking in the previous states. I wonder if we would have had better luck catching a ride if it was just me and Joshua? Most likely not. Really, it just depends on the person passing you and Floridians in general seem to be a bit scared of new exciting things. Like cold weather, and hitchhikers.

But at last we made it down to Sarasota close to a month after we left Gainsville when we headed North on our ridiculous mission to go West on I-40 in the dead of winter (which we soon realized was an idea that could easily be compared to a common mortal man trying to bed a heavenly Goddess…. trying to prove ourselves and biting off more than we could chew)

Sarasota is nice and warm in and its nearing the end of December and 2 days from Christmas. Absolutely brilliant. I think i might try swimming tomorrow… or dare i say…. chrstimas day? yes. i dare.

This is my first Christmas not spent with the family; my first winter since i started traveling the country relying on wit and survival skills alone (aside from the ever helping hand of my love). I am enjoying it very much so.

Wow I really was expecting to get on here and have a brilliant rant pop into my head that i could share with you who dare to stumble upon this page…. but i honestly can’t think of anything right now to say… maybe this is the result of this annoying music being played in the coffee shop, or perhaps because the fantastic book im reading is waiting, crouched, at the back of my mind for me to delve back into it again. It’s a great series, perhaps you’ve read it yourself: Homeland: Book 1 in the Legend of Drizzt by R. A. Salvatore.

on that note, im done with this meaningless squabble.

Burn it all

So we made it all the way down from Asheville, got stuck for a bit in Spartanburg, then got picked up by my loves Mother and taken to stay in a nice ass Embassy Suit Hotel overlooking Atlanta, Georgia. That was a blessing. Free happy hour and pool and hot tub and all sorts of luxuries a modern day hobo is not likely to receive. After 2 nights there, his mother drove us about an hour south of Atlanta and dropped us off at a gas station near the highway. right where we needed to be.  we trudged on up to the highway and we didnt have to walk 5 mins before a lady picked us up.

Now i cant remember if ive already wrote about this adventure in a previous entry or not. oh well, continue on soldier.

we ran into some bad luck and stumbled upon some good luck to make a long story short, stayed a night at waffle house, and finally arrived in the good old Sunshine State of Florida. Except it turns out this place is not what Joshua remembered it to be. He recalled it being infested with hippies and cool people and anarchists. Well….. Gainsville is full of crazies and commercial punk kids and trendy college students who get mad at their daddies for not buying them new bikes every time a homeless person steals theirs. The weather here is awful nice though, i’ll give it that. We sweat our ass’s off all day and fish with our fishing stick and cup for change from the rich college zombies. what a life. but this place has run its toll on us.

the portable gas chambers we see everywhere and shitty food is enough to scare any transient into action.

It has been amazing though to see how mindless people have become. It’s been a long time since ive been surrounded by so many rich sorority members, and i’ll be damned if it doesnt scare the shit out of me. These people can’t fucking think for themselves, they let the tv and ipod do it for them. plastic zombies corporate made. When shit hits the fan and FEMA starts really getting to business these fuckers aren’t going to know what hit em.

I wish a Zombie apocolypse would happen so we could get all the dumb lazy people wiped out. being in a college town makes me just want to start burning shit.

But all I can really do at the moment is keep myself connected and use this experience as a reminder of what my life COULD be like and to be so damn thankful it’s not. I look around me everyday, swing my pack onto my back, breathe in the polluted air…. take a nice big swig of water and smoke my morning cigarette. And just look at this earth. And stay connected to it and the Universe. It’s the best thing i can do for myself.

But i’ll be damned if i pass up a free can of gasoline and matches.

Disconnected and blind

Why do you let society drag you so far away from your true nature? All your little doo-dads and ipods and tv’s are only slowly prying you out of mother natures grip. You are becoming disconnected with the Earth and all the Universe has to offer our brilliant souls. Cut loose. Who needs all those posessions? All those expensive items that you can’t use without a wall plug to charge it up? Wake up, my zombie masses. See what you have to gain in a random conversation with a stranger. I got criticized a lot when I skipped out of Asheville. For what? For listening to the call of the Universe and dropping my things and taking only what I could carry on my back. For wanting to see what was on the other side of this landmass, and everything in between. For balancing out my soul and experiencing love-filled energy flowing into and through me by simple interaction with aware strangers and comunicating with Gia and the elements of this world. You can be angry with me all you wish, but it just shows off your own ignorance and anxiety. You mean I may not be able to contact anyone for months? oh no! you mean I wont be able to pop a CD into my stereo so I can listen to someone else’s over sold music in order to calm down my anxiety instead of meditating on it and balancing out naturally? Dear goodness! that’s completely unacceptable! Just let go. Please. See what this world throws at you.

My life isnt so hard now, like some of you assume. Hell, I ate 3 full healthy meals yesterday free: Breakfast- Eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice (i cooked it myself) Lunch- homegrown/homemade vegetable soup, bread, and oranges. Dinner- Deep fried turkey, greens, potatoe soup, sweet potato pie, bread. This is aside from the 5 slices of pizza Leonardos gave us after dark and the random snack food we munched on all day. See, I’m far from starving. Im living a life of luxury in my eyes. Not to mention, the weather here in Florida is mid 80′s during the day and 60′s at night. And rain? What rain. Ha, even if it DID rain, we sleep on this sidewalk with a roof over it, so we’re all set. I just got doen drinking coffee and watching the news and eating dounut holes. And now im checking my mail on a laptop. See, you don’t need money and cool stuff to live comfortably. Step out of that mindset. Set yourself FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE Please? at least think about it. And stop criticizing me for my lifestyle, when you know nothing about it. I have reconnected myself with nature and my universe, and if that scares you, then all hope is lost for you.

Should I even start discussing all the secret messed up things going on in FEMA right now? Hm, no I think that might be to much at this time =) haha. I love you all.